Martha's Month...sure it is.

I am a subscriber to a lot of magazines...some remain in a stack, unread and when I get the chance to sit and flip through them I always collect lots of ideas, recipes and information.  This morning I was sipping my coffee and decided to flip through the November issue of Martha Stewart Living (the December issue arrived a week or so ago, but hey it's still November, so in my mind, I'm ahead of the game)....I almost never read "Martha's Month" because it always seems so "made up"....I mean do people really write on their calendar to "Have ice skates sharpened"?  Really?  Does someone really write to "winterize vehicles" and on Veteran's Day no less?  Is November 9th the national day to "check flour and sugar supply."?  Don't you have an ongoing grocery list for that kind of thing like the rest of us?    Besides that, if you run out and you're Martha Stewart, don't you just go to some green house on your property that has a wheat field inside and mill some more flour?
But really, the best day of Martha's month had to be November 5th...."fly to Dubai to attend Sharjah International Book Fair"....I didn't have that one down on my calendar...damn, maybe next year, and surely there is a book fair somewhere closer to home, isn't there?  
I'm not really busting Martha's chops for all this...I mean she is Martha Stewart and I'm sure she does SOME of this, but has a lot of "people" that do most of it....but the calendar is supposed to be...."gentle reminders, helpful tips and important dates"......FOR MARTHA!!!  Why do I need to know what's on Martha's calendar when I have trouble following my own?
I just looked at my November calendar...it's filled with the names of stores I worked in during the month, what bills are due when, and an appointment to take the dog to the vet. Very glamorous I know.  I suppose I could add a few things....
November 6, 7, 14, 15...clean up leaves ....again and again and again and again
November 16 ...pay the cable bill....you forgot it last month...don't let that happen again
November 19....suddenly remember that car is severely overdue for an oil change....make a deal with God that if he gets you home without the engine exploding you promise to get it changed tomorrow
November 28....make another deal with God that if you're pants will just button comfortably you will never be such a glutton on Thanksgiving ever again.

When I got this issue in October, Martha already knew that on November 28, she would "make turkey sandwiches with the leftovers".....how does she know that a family brawl won't break out and someone will flip the table, sending the turkey to the floor, only to be ripped to shreds by her beloved dogs, Francesca, Sharkey and Genghis?  It could happen you know.
Well, I think I'll just go back to following my own calendar as exciting as it is....I'll check on a flight to Dubai....but don't hold your breath.